Momma knows best. Period.

We went back to the doctor this morning, and my fears were confirmed:

Graden has pneumonia.

And, because so many feel strongly that the two are directly related, I am a good mom, damn it. 

Yes, I understand that it may seem as though he is "sick" often, but it's not as consistent as it seems. Look back. The problem is that when he is sick, he is sick with something horrible... 

It's a joke (not really funny, but it eases tension) at the doctor's office that my boys "go big or stay home." 

I honestly cannot help that Graden gets sick. I've tried. Don't you think if I could, I would prevent it? Short of keeping him in a plastic bubble, which is just not possible or I would. Hell, even in that bubble he would still have his brain defects. 

So why do other people feel the need to question me as a parent? Maybe I post too much on Facebook? I do status updates, because I honestly get so many texts, emails, or calls that it's easier to update the status than it is to reply to everyone. And, I want to... I want people to know what's going on, because I have to cancel plans, miss class, or not be as good of a friend as I want to be. And, maybe because I need other people to help send positive thoughts or prayers, or whatever, because maybe... just maybe I'm too tired to do it myself. 

Why do I even feel like I have to explain myself? I suppose it's a justification that helps me prove to myself that I am doing the right things by my son... I don't know if many can comprehend how hard I work at taking care of G. It fills my life with constant worry, stress... it's emotionally and physically draining, and it's frickin' scary. Just one example... If you've never seen a seizure, I hope you never do, and I sure as heck hope it's not your child if you do see one... 

I know that when my friends are going through something, I try to offer things that have worked for me (or for my kids), and for many, moms especially, that is a way to try to help. It's like a maternal instinct. I get that. I have many friends that do that, and I love it. I appreciate it. I do. What hurts are the questions that immediately question my ability or intention... "Is he eating healthy? What are you feeding him?" "Is your house clean? I heard too much dust is bad for kids." "Do you let him play outside in the rain or this damp weather? It's horrible for kids; they can catch colds."

Heaven forbid he catches a cold! The kid can handle a cold. Don't you know what he's been through already? A runny nose does not phase Graden. Sorry, but it doesn't. Shoot, this pneumonia is barely phasing him... I practically have to sit on him to get him to rest. 

I mean, come on! Have you seen Grado? He doesn't miss a meal. He eats fruits, veggies, and drinks plenty of water. He rests when he needs to and is one hell of a tough little guy... if you only knew his entire life's history - his four 1/2 years of overcoming serious obstacles - you would know he's pretty damn tough. 

So, yes, I am a good mom. I don't wait around for things to get worse; I got straight into the doctor when I noticed his difficulty breathing. I know how serious fever spikes can be for his other health issues. I'm watching him (literally) around the clock. And, I always, always, ALWAYS put him first, which isn't always as easy I would like... but tough shit. I'm a mom. I'm HIS mom, and I'm a damn good one, too.