It's amazing what a difference 10 days makes.
Last week, I was so worried about how Graden would do at school after being off for break and struggling through the changes caused by the lowering of his medication, but that little stinker made me so happy! He came home with a "red" every single day last week! Even the teacher wrote him a note. For those of you who don't know, red is the top of the behavior chart, which means he wasn't just good (green), he was great! While he usually floats around the good colors, he hadn't earned a full week of red yet. Needless to say, we celebrated.
And, now, we only have 3 days left...
Easter will be his last dose. How fitting.
I stumbled across the date of his first full MRI this morning... 3 years ago, almost to the day.
What a ride it's been. So many changes.
I can't say that change is bad, because in our case it means growth. It means we are taking the next step -- or sometimes just another step. It makes me wonder why people are often afraid of change. I've heard it's because of the unknown, but don't they know that bad things can happen if you remain stagnate? Stagnate. I heard a great discussion about that word yesterday in a class studying communities. I'll refrain from getting sidetracked, but the talk made me consider how truly afraid I am of the unknown, but I how I am forced to embrace change.
Weaning Grado off his medicine is the perfect example. I do not know what will happen when it's completely out of his system, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried, but I do know that this change is good right now. And, isn't "right now" all I can focus on?
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
The weaning process...
Today is the beginning of our third week of the weaning process... I'd like to tell you that it's been good - easy, even, but I cannot.
It's been challenging and annoying, quite frankly. :)
The first week, we didn't notice any real changes in Grado. He slept, ate, played, and acted the same... but, that also meant we still noticed the ups and downs of his emotions, attitudes, and frustrations.
The second week (last week) was spring break, and we hit a few bumps and barriers. Although we had a great week, he became more emotional, which they said could happen. So, let's hope the medicine continues to leave his system without much fuss (what I mean is any new problems/side effects). He feels guilty once he calms down, and sometimes, he can't even remember why he was upset in the first place.
It's just so aggravating that he's so quick to change from happy to sad to angry to sleepy. Aggravating to him, because I can tell that it wears him out; aggravating to me because I can't do a damn thing about it!
It hurts my heart. Literally.
Speaking of hearts -- Bless Landen's; he's being a great brother through this. We know how it goes -- the people closest to us are the ones that get "hit" the worst. So, Grado takes his frustrations out Landen and me. Phil is lucky and has a way of calming Grado. (And the rest of us for that matter!) :)
Landen usually gets it because something sets him off while they're playing.
I usually get it because I'm Mom, The Enforcer.
I try so hard not to get upset with him, but darn it! I can't not discipline him for acting out... I have to let him know it still isn't right and draw attention to his actions. But, I also have to be patient, and let me tell you...
No, wait, I don't have to tell you. We all know how it goes, and it sucks.
Today, we dropped down to 3 mL, so we're half way through the process. Next week, we get to do 1, and then we're done... But, I can't say I'm excited, relieved, or looking forward to it, because we just do not know what the next step will be... and, I hate that part.
So, there's my update on this weaning process. Who knew it would be so consuming to stop medication? Goodness knows we've made it through so much worse. Deep down, I know I should stop complaining and ride along with Graden until we figure this out. So, that's what I'm doing (or trying to!).
This morning, though, I was struggling. I did not want to send him back to school after being off a week. When I gave him his dose, he smiled and said, "Oh! Look. I'm almost done." I had to smile, because he was proud and excited. I even thought I could sense some relief in his voice... and so, I, too, am feeling some of the weight being lifted. Finally.
And, no matter what changes he's struggling with, my tough Grado is still the one teaching me...
It's been challenging and annoying, quite frankly. :)
The first week, we didn't notice any real changes in Grado. He slept, ate, played, and acted the same... but, that also meant we still noticed the ups and downs of his emotions, attitudes, and frustrations.
The second week (last week) was spring break, and we hit a few bumps and barriers. Although we had a great week, he became more emotional, which they said could happen. So, let's hope the medicine continues to leave his system without much fuss (what I mean is any new problems/side effects). He feels guilty once he calms down, and sometimes, he can't even remember why he was upset in the first place.
It's just so aggravating that he's so quick to change from happy to sad to angry to sleepy. Aggravating to him, because I can tell that it wears him out; aggravating to me because I can't do a damn thing about it!
It hurts my heart. Literally.
Speaking of hearts -- Bless Landen's; he's being a great brother through this. We know how it goes -- the people closest to us are the ones that get "hit" the worst. So, Grado takes his frustrations out Landen and me. Phil is lucky and has a way of calming Grado. (And the rest of us for that matter!) :)
Landen usually gets it because something sets him off while they're playing.
I usually get it because I'm Mom, The Enforcer.
I try so hard not to get upset with him, but darn it! I can't not discipline him for acting out... I have to let him know it still isn't right and draw attention to his actions. But, I also have to be patient, and let me tell you...
No, wait, I don't have to tell you. We all know how it goes, and it sucks.
Today, we dropped down to 3 mL, so we're half way through the process. Next week, we get to do 1, and then we're done... But, I can't say I'm excited, relieved, or looking forward to it, because we just do not know what the next step will be... and, I hate that part.
So, there's my update on this weaning process. Who knew it would be so consuming to stop medication? Goodness knows we've made it through so much worse. Deep down, I know I should stop complaining and ride along with Graden until we figure this out. So, that's what I'm doing (or trying to!).
This morning, though, I was struggling. I did not want to send him back to school after being off a week. When I gave him his dose, he smiled and said, "Oh! Look. I'm almost done." I had to smile, because he was proud and excited. I even thought I could sense some relief in his voice... and so, I, too, am feeling some of the weight being lifted. Finally.
And, no matter what changes he's struggling with, my tough Grado is still the one teaching me...
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