I should be...

As I sit in "my spot," as the boys like to call it, across from my sweet Grado, I can't see his face, but it doesn't matter... because, instead, I am fixated on the rise and fall of his chest. Taking naps have become habit for him again, these past few weeks, and I am thankful for his moments of peace. These moments, for him, are his breaks. He is pain-free, restful, and so very innocent. He is "comfy" with his "friends" - Monkey and Mater. There's even a puppy in there somewhere. 

I know I should be grading, reading, responding to email, posting on discussion boards, but I suppose I need the break, too. Instead of napping, though, I watch him and reminisce a bit at how far he's come. Not that I need to take the time to truly remember, because I never forget. But, it's more in awe of his growth, both physically and mentally. His poor emotions are strained right now, but he is still a fighter. He knows what needs to be done and has taken to reminding us about his medicines. 

Just today, in fact, his teacher told me he mentioned his "heart was beating fast," which is an indicator of his body working hard to breathe. So, she let him take a break. Before I forget (and this is long overdue), let me tell you how amazing his teacher is -- she watches him a bit extra because she worries about him as much as I do, as did his teacher last year! Quite honestly, I probably would have pulled him from preschool if he had been with anyone else. If you're looking for preschools, Mrs. K (and the rest of the staff) is truly amazing... not just at teaching, but being a friend to me and being so supportive of "her kids!" The point, though, is that Graden is growing up before my very eyes. 

Sure, all kids grow up, and I've watched Landen do the same. What I realized today, during my break, is that both my boys have grown up with a bit more responsibility than many other kids. Landen wakes up every morning, gets dressed, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth, and does his inhaler. He tells me when he needs extra meds... He has learned how to take good care of himself. (Of course, not alone, but still... you get my point.)

Graden is beginning to do the same. This realization is crucial to me today. I am proud of him. I've said it a thousand times. He is a fighter, but now, I know, he is learning to be a smart fighter. A responsible little boy. A responsible, funny, little boy. :) His teacher told me yesterday he was talking to the markers while he was drawing, saying, "Come to Papa." Bah! That G. I'm telling you. He is just something...

A sweet, innocent, little guy, who melts his Momma's heart, especially while he sleeps and Momma knows he's comfy. So, yes, I should be grading, working, anything but staring at him. But, today, I can't help it.