Gratitude appears...

Every day this week, I wake up a little more worried, a little more scared, and a little more grateful.

Odd, though, considering my child is having surgery... on his brain! in 4 days. Of course, I'm not grateful for him having to have surgery, but I'm grateful there are doctors who can perform such procedures.

I'm grateful for the things we've been doing the past two weeks:

Play-dates with friends
Visits to the zoo or park or splashpad or pool
Baseball games
Visiting family 
Receiving mail (not just emails!)
Making phone calls (not just texts!)
Staying up late
Enjoying the weather
Being silly -- dancing to loud music and screaming lyrics
Coloring, drawing, and working on our writing
Dinner with friends
Being surprised with sincere prayers, thoughts, and words of compassion
Being lazy
Watching movies...
All of these things and so many more. We've been busy, and we have loved it. 

Last night, I was at a meeting with some friends for the mentoring program I'll be working with after Graden's surgery. At the end of the meeting, these new friends of mine (very new -- we've only met once before last night) gathered hands and said a prayer for me and Graden. The words sliced through me...

Prior to that prayer, my new friend, D, mentioned how people suffer. "Some people suffer well, and some people just suffer." He was quoting something he had recently heard, and I nodded in frantic agreement.

I have suffered. We all have. But, through this, I'm trying my best to "suffer well." Not just for me, but for Graden. He's been so strong and hasn't shown much emotion about his surgery until recently, when he saw someone start to cry about it. Before I could explain those tears, he began crying... 

He finally said he was scared.

This is when I *must* "suffer well." There is no time for me to worry about how horrible I feel. Instead, I must smile, nod, comfort, and encourage Graden, knowing fully well that I cannot guarantee the outcome of his surgery. 

I cannot tell you that it was easy, and I don't know if it worked. But, he calmed down and moved on -- for now.

So, again, last night, I left that meeting smiling. The tears were sitting in the corners of my eyes, but they were not sad tears. They were overwhelming-grateful tears... grateful for the people who enter your life at just the right time to say just the right words. Amazing how that works. 

I've been noticing this gradually throughout Graden's journey, but more specifically this past six months... Graden and I have made new friends, found old friends, and connected with total strangers, each of them have touched our hearts in ways I cannot express here. 

Gratitude appears anywhere. Everywhere. I didn't recognize it at first - didn't want to, but I know that it's what's helping me "suffer well."