Love and Hugs from Landen

My past few posts have been focused on Graden's journey. I have touched upon Landen's empathy for his little brother, but I am not sure my words give his heart justice.


Today is Landen's last day of school... his last day of Kindergarten. Not only am I proud of how far Landen has come this year academically and socially, but I am amazed at the little man he continues to become. I'm sure I've told some of you before, but this kid - this 6 1/2 year old boy - has more compassion than most adults I know, which sometimes includes his parents.


Every week day, for the past 9 months, Landen has come home from school, jumped off the bus, ran to the mailbox, and walked in the front door to hear Graden anxiously awaiting him. "How was your day?" Graden would ask, and Landen would reply with a detailed account of his activities, usually consisting of a kickball game with "big kids" at recess, a really fun lunch (like pancakes), a field trip, or a new song. On special days (holidays or history or science lessons), Landen and Graden would get so wrapped up in conversation, they would end up walking around the house discussing how Obama is our President's name or how Honey Bees have big eyes. I think Landen enjoyed this interaction as much as Graden did, and I had to wait my turn to find out if he had a good day and "got green" (which was usually the case) or if he had homework. Most of the time, though, I didn't get a turn, because, eventually, Graden asked Landen those questions, too.


Now, as Graden naps and rests up for his day tomorrow, I wait for Landen to come home off the bus for the last time this school year. My son, my little friend, is moving on to 1st grade. I never liked the saying "time flies," and it drove me crazy when people told me after Landen was born that it would "go so fast." But, now I know. Time does fly. They do grow up so fast. 

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I can honestly say that I sat and cried at one point in the afternoon, because I just didn't know what to do next. I haven't felt that way in a long time, but there are just some days when I worry myself sick... and it wasn't just about Graden. I was quiet the entire evening, calming myself down, reassuring myself that "this too would pass"... Not too long before dinner (only a couple hours after he had been home to witness my "mood"), Landen walked slowly towards me. When our eyes met, I knew this little man of mine knew I was upset. I didn't say anything and he didn't have to, either. Instead of walking away or asking me a question, he said, "Can I hug you, Mom? Do you need a hug?" Even typing it, I lose my words, my thoughts, and tears begin to form. All I could do was nod. Of course I needed a hug. His hug.


"You give the best hugs," I told him, to which he replied, "I know" and I had to giggle. I could feel the weights lifting from my shoulders and the stress drifting away. It was as if his hug brought me back to... me? I don't know. I just know it felt good and made me more proud of his ability to empathize at such a young age -- and he's been that way since he was little. He is so observant of others' emotions. He knows what to say and when to say it. He knows his Momma is a worrier, a fixer, and a stresser. But, he loves me anyway and knows when I needed to be reminded of that love. I am so very thankful for him.

Mother to Son

BY LANGSTON HUGHES

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now—

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.